Nursing Twins

Nursing twins has proven to be the most frustrating thing up to this point and time. Don't get me wrong, this is a personal decision that I have made and want to see through because I know how rewarding it can be. Nursing Abigial is something I am very proud of and found to be extremely rewarding and I look back on the time with very fond memories. There are several schools of thought when breastfeeding twins, one is tandem nursing, one is feeding back to back and one is nurse one and bottle the other and then switch at the next feeding and then there is everything in between. The one thing EVERYONE seems to agree on is keeping them on the same schedule so that no matter what you're doing you're not constantly doing it, even though it may already feel that way. Here in lies my dilemma. Both boys are good enough at nursing and bottles. I hate to do bottles even if it's mommy's milk,just b/c I don't want them to become even more lazy than they already sometimes are, yet I know how much Abigail hated a bottle and it's SO nice to know that they WILL take a bottle. My boys are such different nursers--Justin prefers to snack at every other feeding or nurse for 5-8 minutes, but then wants to eat almost every hour--basically he wants to nurse on demand, which would be fine if he didn't have a twin brother. Not only does he want to nurse on demand he gets so hungry and frustrated that he has a harder time nursing. Ryan on the other hand wants to eat every 2, 3, maybe 4 hours or more if I'd let him--he also gets the nursing thing so much better and stays on and eats for longer. But because the boys are so different it makes keeping them on the same schedule so difficult and then we take an hour or so to feed and then Justin wants to start all over again. We do this craziness in the evenings which makes for long evenings, me often missing Abigail's bedtime routine, all so that night time feedings seem to be spaced out and we all get some sleep on most nights. If we get at least a 2 to 2.5 hour chunk of time to sleep we're great. It's the time when one or both boys don't go back to sleep or didn't get enough time to burp and they become fussy that the nights become really long and we spend hours on the recliner sometimes two of us and sometimes three.
We've also tried tandem nursing--we try at least once a day so the boys and i get comfortable with it. This would be a huge time saver for us both during the day and at night, but Justin tends to have a harder time getting started and needs more help continuing to nurse and the logistics of lifting both boys and even getting started seems difficult especially when I'm alone with them and Abigail during the day. Tandem nursing does at least help keep them on the same schedule and it's what we rely on when our timing has somehow gotten way off track. We haven't tried this in the middle of the night yet just b/c I don't really think Justin is ready for it yet. Eventually this is where I'd like to get to once more of our nursing issues get resolved.
The bright spot in all of this is that not only DO both boys nurse, Abigail has been a champ. She needs to get taken care of first and always thought of before I start nursing so that she doesn't need too many things while and once I've started nursing. But she doesn't mind it or bother us and she likes to watch the boys and knows that they're eating.
I hope that in a few weeks, maybe months I'll be able to look back on this post and realize that even though right now I'm really frustrated, I'll be glad at whatever decisions we make from here on out. I hope that we have accomplished our goal of tandem nursing for the majority of our feedings and that the boys will still take bottles so that i can feel like I can get out a little bit more. I also hope that I'll have more time to "just" hold my boys and enjoy some of this infant, newborn time when they want to be held and snuggled so close. Right now I feel like I can only hold them so much with nursing and calming, instead of just the joy of looking at them sleeping peacefully on my shoulder or in my arms.