The good and the bad

It seems like when I haven't written in our blog in a while it probably means that it's been a rough couple of days. I don't always like to write about the hard times or the times when I just joined in with the crying because it was just easier to get it all out. But the good news is that as rough as it is sometimes just a little time away, a great husband and good friends seem to make everything better. The beginning of last week was a very rough couple of days and I didn't know if we would all make it to the end of the week, and we even had help. But on Wed. just about when I hit my breaking point, I knew I was headed out to a holiday dinner with the other MoMs and I knew that if anyone were to truly understand and not just be sympathetic it would be them. To be honest I didn't even know if I really wanted to go because the boys hadn't been taking bottles and even getting away doesn't always seem worth it if you come back into a house of screaming babies who are hungry and can be and should be demanding of me the second I walk through the door. But out I went to have a good time and decided to let Guy and Grandma hold down the fort. On the way home, although I had a Great time and had a chance to relax, I was still apprehensive as to what I was going to walk in on. To my surprise, I walked into a decorated house and two happy babies, who had both taken a bottle--Yay boys, daddy and grandma!! It was a WONDERFUL surprise and I felt once again refreshed as if yes I can do this.
The weekend also provided us with some nice times of normalcy and that always helps. Friday evening we had a great time with friends and their children- it was a chance to get together, have the kids play and just chat. There was no fancy sit down meal, just pizza and cookies something everyone could enjoy. Guy and I each had a chance to go Christmas shopping this weekend. We also went to the Elmwood Zoo on Sunday as a family. It was the boys first trip to the zoo and it was a good time. Abigail also had her first bites of Cranberry bread which she liked and was important simply because it was the first time she had any nuts, no allergic reaction noted so we'll keep trying other nuts. Doing things as a family is so important to me for life to feel normal. I often shy away from doing things with all of us, just because it isn't as easy as it used to be, but then I feel guilty that we have done next to nothing with the boys compared to all the things Abigail did by this age--even though they'll never remember or know. I also feel guilty that we're not taking Abigail to holiday things because of her brothers and my fear of what going out may turn into. However yesterday went well and tonight we're headed out to Longwood Gardens. So we're taking baby steps at doing things out and about, others are usually impressed we're doing as much as we are, yet it's not in my nature to want to stay in. I need to get out to keep my calm and yet not be out and running around so much that it's too hectic for all of us. Finding the happy medium is difficult but we're doing our best. I think this will be a long week, Nana is out of town and not around for that call to come over earlier or just to talk to on the phone for me or Abigail. So hopefully we'll have a good week, Mondays are always hard because I never know what the week will hold. But I try to take it one day at a time and sometimes just one hour at a time or even less, but this past weekend helped refresh me and get me ready for the week to come.